EPILOGUE

----* " Look around the house honey,
 its just the same as we planned... "

She turned around..
Saw the white walls, the white linen curtains, 
The soft bed, the white bed sheet on it..
The wall adjacent to the wall bearing the same picture 
of their wedding they both selected once,to be hung up on the wall..
It was all perfect..
Just one small thing was not..
These were her dreams undoubtedly,
But not his..
Not this man's who was standing next to her..
The man in the picture taken on their wedding day was not him..
It was Igor..

Igor's voice echoed in her head..
"I don't know if i will ever be able to trust you again..
You were my pride, my honour..
You took it all away once, you broke it all down..
I will not let you do it again.." *-----

20.04.2012

She sat up on the bed..
Alone..
Drenched in sweat.. Panting..
She looked around with the hope of seeing Igor awake in his study..
He was not there..
She stretched her arms out for Igor to climb in..
He did not..
Emptiness engrossed her..
Igor was gone..
And so were her piled up dreams.

She could never accept herself with Albert..
He was just a shadow of Igor..
She created him.. Bit by bit.. Cell by cell..
Albert was created to fill the void place in her heart and life which Igor created..
His hunger for success and his love for work created..
Albert filled it..
But never replaced him..
She was always too sure about whom she wanted to be with..
But she did not know how to end it..
Fearing she would destroy a world either way,
She delayed taking the decision..
Not knowing when she lost the man of her life..
Beside whom she stood, draped in that white dress,
Amid the mauve flowers, holding a bunch of white lilies,
those lines she said,
"I take you in husband 
to be with you always 
in wealth and in poverty 
in the disease and in health 
in happiness and in grief 
from this day until death separates us."

And said : " I DO"
She feared destroying one world by choosing,but now she had destroyed three..
Her's , Igor's and Albert's..
Albert always knew how to move on..
She did not..
Neither did Igor..
They were all stuck in the same game but in different levels..


She always knew the house she lived in,
All white in colour,
The yard in which their children would play,
The balcony where they made love in rain,
Belonged to Igor and she could never share their world with Albert..
It was all a dream,
Born of reality..
But when reality is better than dreams even though it causes pain at times
We can always create more of them..
Without the help of anyone substituting or replacing the reality..

10.05.2013

Igor came back to her..
'cause  he was too weak to let it go..
But could never trust her with his heart..
She knew it.. But pretended that she did'nt..
She regretted all that happened  every moment she looked in Igor's eyes,
Every moment she knew he suffered,
Every moment she remembered what she did,
But she believed,
Regrets should be there in life,
But only when you have good memories to cherish..
And she had countless..
Ever since she met Igor,  she had it all afresh in her mind to cherish all her life..
Their sorrows, their happiness, their fights, adventures, misadventures, life and love ..

They lived their life, the way they planned..
Albert was long gone..
Buried in the sands of time..
But he left a hole..
A Trust Shaped Hole in their Universe.....