TO LOVE...

When you look back at time,
Do you ever wonder how life would have been if that one single life changing event did not happen??

When i do, I go back to that chilling december night..
29th it was.. Year 2010..
If I did not make that call,
Maybe I would still be wandering about..
unsure of what I would like to do with my life..
Going out with tons of guys, struggling to find the right one..
But maybe it was already decided..
Maybe when I now think about being single it seems so appealing.
but maybe that phone call actually did make my life..

But yes one thing, I never regret for one moment, what followed..
It has been great.. And it will continue to be..
happiness.
sadness.
fights.
breakups.
patch-ups.
cries.
heartbreaks.
heartaches.
sharing.
caring.
All of it and lots more..

Maybe life would have been different had I not made that call.
But it certainly would not have been any better than this..
Because I got the most precious gift of my life..
A jackass best friend whom I would not even consider dating if it was not for being impulsive..
Who was there all along,supporting me through it all, and we were busy laughing it off!!

So here's to my impulsiveness..
And here's to being loved and adored as a couple while thinking we could never pull this off..
(We did.. And we did great..)
And above all, here's to LOVE...

P.S : I LOVE YOU..

This one's for you and me..

Well, changing life and changing times often snatch away a lot from us..
But as they say, some people leave their footprints in our hearts..
When i see people blabbering on about best friends and bonds,
I sure feel bad an a wee bit jealous,
 but at the same time i know what happened perhaps happened for the best..
We grew up.. Well, you sure did..
New friends, new way of life..
We parted ways..
But one thing I can say, no one can replace you..
No one could and no one will..
I know you probably will not even read this..
Actually I don't want you to..
Because few things are best left unsaid..
So, summing it all up..
No matter where you are or how you are or with whom you are,
I would always wish for the best for you..
Be happy always..

P.S : I love you.. Always have and always will..

P.P.S : This is the only decent picture I have of us. The only picture for the matter..

To Monsieur..

Hey there monsieur,

Was it you the other day?

Was it you who passed by??

Was it you who believed in another try??

Monsieur, was it your scent??

Smelt so known.

Was it your breath??

Felt so own.

Did you pass me by?

Did you ask for another try??

Monsieur say bonjour to your mistress..

She ain’t the one you hide..

Say, she is beautiful with an envious pair of eyes..

Monsieur   do u remember the rain drenched night??

Do you still remember our last fight??

It is your mistress who gets your name.

As I always have been for you “the game”.

Monsieur, when you make love to her

Do you think of me??

When you look at her lustful eyes,

Tell me what you see.

When her nails dig deep into your skin,

When she moans in pain.

Do you remember my tender touch??

Do you remember me again??

Tell me monsieur, was it you the other  day??

Was it you who passed me by

On the thirteenth day of May??

Tell me for once as I say goodbye.

As I took an oath to stop believing your lies.

I bid adieu to all,

As it is my time to go.

As my monsieur is dead,

And buried deep within my soul....

What to do?

When your insecurity becomes your obsession,
when inferiority gradually overshadows sanity,
what is it that you should do?

When death seems to be the ultimate temptation,
when the lanes leading to heaven seduce and tempt you,
what is it that you should do?

When the fallen angels cry for their lives,
and unknown voices prophesise your homecoming,
what is it that you should do?

When you sit there idle not taking the last train home,
or perhaps you wait for the angels to come,
to kiss you and bless you with immortality,
take your life and grant your soul sanity,
what is it that you should do?

Should you bid adieu to such a cursed life?
or should you live on with your eternal fake disguise?
should you promise your man his beautiful children’s grace?
when your womb itself is no more a pristine place.
or should you escape when a night is starry,
and let your children grow in the womb of virgin Mary?

CAPE...

Get a cape, buy a cape, wear a cape..
Put your shield on, put your mask on,
to attempt an escape..

I cant see, I cant hold, but i feel you here..
Beneath the mask, beneath the shield,
beneath the cape you wear..

Is there peace? Is there home?
Are there feelings to cherish?
Or is it the same world, like this
Where you are left to perish?

Abandon the wishes, abandon the world
Find your way home back here,
Or take me away, or take the pain
Because this i cannot bear..

Or take a dagger and stab it through my heart,
And take me with you,
take me back to the start..

Take me to the home we own,
Take me to the beautiful lawn,
Take me there, away before dawn..

And I will leave this world behind,
I will lock it in a box 
And hide it in the mind.
Then I will get a cape, buy a cape and wear a cape.
Because holding your hand I will attempt an escape....

WINTER...

Winter..

It was yet another winter..

Winters made her lazy and happy..

She lay in bed, cuddled with her favourite pillow,

Snug into her favourite blanket, music, food, coffee, peace..

Yes she would love each day..

But this winter was unlike all others..

It was different..

Few things remained same while others, most, changed..

She sat there in her cozy bed scribbling random lines in her art pad..

She was searching..

Searching for her lost words..

Words, which deserted her and never came back as yet..

She wanted to write..

Needed to write..

Express herself at least to the art pad..

But no, all were gone..

She stared out of the window to the half-dark moon,

Which in more than one way sang the saga of her love..

They were almost identical..

Both were half hidden beneath darkness..

“Did you ever try so hard,

That your world fell apart,

Have you ever needed someone so bad? “

She hummed..

And she knew she did..

She needed him bad and even worse..

The desk in her room flaunted a picture of them back in their high school days..

She often searched for the old them within the lost time..

She searched her old self too..

Desperate to live that life again..

Which somehow got lost in the debris of her past..

But she was happy..

Happy because she no longer blamed herself..

Because they both knew by now it was not her..

Her winter was happy..

A different type of happy!!

Because she was guilt-free!!

From the diary of Marianne....


She stood there wrapped in a black

Smooth silk cloth which gently covered just the required parts.

She was glowing. Her beauty, her charm, her grace,

Nevertheless,

Outstanded the entire universe.

In the dark room lit by just

The bright stars,

Her eyes twinkled like one of them.

He sat there motionless.

Admiring the beauty of the young lady

He bought for the night.

He paid five grands to buy the lady.

“Not much” he thought to himself.

“ for such an unparallel treat for the eyes

Living on the planet.”

She smiled gently at him.

He got up and stretched his hand toward her.

She stretched her’s too.

Fair, perfectly shaped,

Long slender fingers, red nail paint.

He dragged her to the bed

Gently lay her down on the

Bed of roses.

She did nothing, said nothing.

Just lay there and looked

At the dark night sky

As he took off his coat and tie.

As he climbed on the bed

And lay beside her,

She turned towards him.

Then-all a game, a game of sweet seduction.

She drank his passion sip by sip

Once her’s above  and once below his lips.

He played along the game of lust,

Turning his commitments yet again to dust.

He turned her over climbed on top of her.

And got a view-so pristine, so clear.

He touched her in the most sensuous way,

Got along the game of sweet seduction as they play.

Her blood red nails dig deep into his skin.

In a trembling whisper she heard him say-

“you’re beautiful, lady you can be the con,

As you can,on your wish,turn the desire on.”

And then a tear rolled down his cheek,

And suddenly all the lust and desire seemed so bleak.

He rolled over and lay beside the beautiful bliss.

Then he said to her- “miss, I cannot do this.

I have my wife and two beautiful children back at home.

They are waiting for me,

Oh! they are so lone.

Their mother betrayed them but how can I?

So what if she slept in our bed with another guy?

For you lady, you are beautiful

In your own way.

Just this game of sweet seduction is not for me to play.

She smiled back at him and got up from bed.

Said- “honey! not every man in this world is like you,

They just want to get laid.

You got a sweet family, I never got mine.

I wonder what really, really was my crime.

I was a daughter, a sister, a mother once.

Time can be cruel u know?

Snatched away from me, snatched away all.

Keep your money, keep it with you.

Buy your children some toys

As like you I have met very few.”

With a gentle kiss on his forehead she left the room.

Leaving him to wonder what must have brought her doom......